FUSTRATION...

1: Was enjoying myself @ balaclava last nite, nothing much exciting happened, but nothing bad either.. until JON! Duh..

It was fun hanging out with Janet and her sisters and their friends.. though i may seem quite rude reading my comics in one side... trying to finish the book mah.. den wat they say i cant really comment.. out of my league wor.. ;p Had a glass of red wine only.. den finally saw EIC! quite nice... Mandy came to join me oso.. sadly she came then after awhile my mood turned very foul..

Was like JA, CJ and me heading to toilet.. den i open door for them mah.. den if i no see JON at the back i wont have held on the door for the strangers behind CJ.. Den is like he oredi pass the doorway le so i let go and then turn around to find JA.. the asshole actually kicked my buTT!!!!! I was so pissed and till now i regret i no slap his bloody grinning face sia! That piece of shit!!! I turned around and scolded him! I tell u i was itching to slap him sia.. still got cheek say i no hold door for him.. he wants me to hold door for him and his girlfriend meh?!!!! The past times he rude @ me verbally is oredi too much liao.. coz Derek friend so aiyah let it pass... but this time he is too much loh! I was tired and mood easy triggered le.. but still apologised to mandy for letting lose my temper as well.. but den again can tell i bad mood le she still poke me at my side and when i say i oredi so bad mood le u still poke me.. she talk back say she no scared.. I turned and grab my bag to go toilet cool down before i let loose temper and say something bad.. i sms her though say wait for me somewhere.. sighz.. bad of me to lose temper aniway so i apologised.. went for coffee at pacific coffee.. coz JA say they heading wala wala and Jon may be there oredi.. SHittY assHolE! Even how gum i am wif my guy friends.. some i known for years.. they oso wont treat me wif such crudeness and dis-respect loh!

2: From what mandy say.. seems like my friends has been telling her that they gonna start talking to me abt my attitude after my redang trip.. how now i m very different from last time n it is very unacceptable...

Firstly.. fact that my friends has told mandy...
Secondly... they actually have complains abt me...n i got no clue abt it..
Thirdly... i still never hear anything from them abt this..

I know after breaking up i quite dependant on them.. asking them out etc to hang out .. taking up alot of their time... n i know my temper has always been bad and has been trying to keep in check le.. but they know me is mood swing easy wan mah.. not that i am saying it is right to lose temper at friends.. but they should know me now do cool down and apologise after awhile.. i dunno.. mebbe is really my mistake my wrong... unconsciously i have IRRITATED my friends ba... i really no sure who i m now... really coz i nver intentionally do anything, and if i did i will admit..

wat wif after that jon incident i hear this.. and from mandy.. i dunno.. i feel very low sia.. and depressed.. i have to hear it from mandy.. weird.. so who m i close to now? i feel rejected from all areas of my life... i cant hang on to my job.. my friends are unhappy.. no love.. family dun need me.. no direction in life..

I really dunno what else they no happy abt me.. really hope they talk to me abt it soon... it really sux to hear from 3rd party.. like i said.. my friends are now each other friends and they dun need me any more.. this is how i feel.. dramatic i know.. over-sensitive i know.. and ya.. mebbe i'm thinking too much...

I told someone b4.. friends are impt to mie... sighz.. wish they'll just tell mie wat they not happy at n get this over with.. better den me ownself pondering in my lil head... ciao.