* NiTe * LonE * ThoTs *

Nothing doing.. reading some poetry by a lady in multiply... She's really good! Her poetry are mostly about love and relationships .. with one or 2 very close to daily life stuff..

http://abbylee.multiply.com/journal

Entering February already.... reading all the love, logic, reflections and stuff.. makes me feel melancholic..
Like I said, i'm still trying to get used to singlehood.. wat to do on 14th February lehz~...*bleah*.. Feeling lonely..

Joan date me for Zouk this fridaye.. and probably Saturday will have another drink session @ Wala Wala to celebrate mister Derek's bday..! Think m a late bloomer.. weekend partying has become a routine for me already, at a time when people around me have partied till they sick of it .. hahaha .. ;p

.. Daniel messaged me to wish me happy birthday, and wish me well. I ask abt his work and family.. he said family is alright.. but work sux.. Well.. I also cant help in that area.. I couldnt help b4.. I definitely couldnt help now.. Life is still going on.. for him..for me... Just that our path is seperate.. it has been so for a long time now... I still wish the best for him though.. That he'll be happy.. : }

Think i am really bad at cheering pp up.. I dun know the right words to say... Like that day over msn with Ben, dunno how chat chat chat until he go into depression again... Sighz.. Wish he'd come to his senses soon and quit hoping for the worse in his life.. Worry for him sia.. being overseas and alone, and keep thinking these kind of depressing thots.. sighz.. can just say his life hasnt been smooth sailing at all.. But wat can I say leh?? Worse is this stupid fella cant seem to just see me as an ol' friend.. keep bring up how he let me down last time.. bla bla bla.. Geez.. I cant even bloody remember most of the things already.. and it was an ok breakup .. no big hooha.. 5 yrs ago and keep bring up for wat? I really dunno how to handle a guy who is bent on making his llife miserable sia.. *head pain* Wish can do something for him.. - on my part, I see him and his sister as old friends - but my words he dun listen.. too set in his ways liaoz.. *sighz*

Think i'm better with actions... hugz.. gifts.. stuff lydat.. I like to surprise my friends and give them something that they normally would not spend on themselves... I like the thought that I made them happy.. *grinz* Though.. there are times when i'm feeling low.. that i wonder if I am spending money just to keep my friends.. like eager to please them lydat.. hahaha.. sighz.. but truth be told if my friends leave me.. it'll be more devastating then if a boyfriend leave me i think.. at this point of time lah. I'm not saying bad abt my friends, they are with me coz they like me.. and they accept me as I m.. temper, bad habits and all.. and I love them doubly for that! =n.n= Just that when one is feeling low.. one tends to focus on own weakness and fears.. X Think childhood still has its shadows...

Mid twenties feeling is starting to hit me.. Reflecting on the past, I realised that I am very far from my goals. Actually, I m a simple girl. .. wat i want is close friends, for life kind.. and a man whom I can rely on, trust and love and talk to.. be loved as I am... and kids.. a family of my own.. some cats and dogs in the house, maybe a tortoise or 2 as well.. hahaha ;p .. learn to drive, learn to dive.. get my own bicycle.. see bit of the world.. be enveloped in warmth at nite.. most of all..basically.. I just want to be wanted.. needed.. and loved ...

Life.. still goes on.. good or bad.. one must find a direction, a purpose to go on.. Alone.. or hand in hand.. sighz.. Must train myself to be independant..but den again maybe i just miss the feeling of being needed by someone.. sighz.. i need a hug sia.. X

*Paul anka - I don't like to sleep alone*
I don't like to sleep alone
Stay with me
Don't go
Talk with me for just a while
So much of you to get to know
Reaching out touching you
Leaving all the worries behind
Loving you
My mouth on yours and yours on mine
Marry me
Let me live with you
Nothing's wrong and love is right
Like a man says in his song
Help me make it through the night
Loneliness can get you down
When you get to thinking no one cares
Lean on me
And I'll lean on you
Together we will see it through

No, I don't like to sleep alone
It's sad to think some folks do
No I don't like to sleep alone
No one does
Do you?

No, I don't like to sleep alone
It's sad to think some folks do
No I don't like to sleep alone
No one does
Do you?